Proper TP Placement

For those who’ve not taken the time to think this issue through, here is the answer.

Although there are many reasons why “B” is the correct way to place toilet paper on a roller, I need cite only one to settle the case for anyone with more active brain cells than a 10-year-old cracked crock of spoiled kimchi: look at an average roll of toilet 2-ply paper (I’ll not deal with the flimsy “one-ply” sandpaper foisted off on those for whom the price vs. cost question is “too haaaaaarrrd” an issue to resolve. Let such unthinking, self-lobotomized folk fend for themselves). On average quality 2-ply toilet paper, one side–the outside, display side, is “finished”. I leave the rest of this definitive argument as a trivial exercise for the student to reason out.


More? Very well then. But not on the issue settled above.

I said I’d not offer any tutoring to the self-lobotomized who practice the false economy of buying cheapo one-ply stuff, but I lied. *heh*

Proper 2-ply toilet paper is more economical than lower-priced one-ply (how can there even BE a “ply” when there’s only one? Silly terminology). The cheapo crap (“eraser” *heh*) doesn’t work well, as anyone who’s ever been forced to use it knows, and one either has to use a LOT of the stuff or risk

  • health issues (rashes and infections from the rashes, etc.)
  • social issues (do YOU like being near someone who literally smells like shit?)
  • clothing care issues (anyone with “tread marks” in their underwear has probably bought cheapo TP and then not used enough of it… or is just a shit-stinking slob)

Yeh, yeh, don’t get me started. With a medium quality 2-ply, two squares, folded once (making one 4-ply) can do a good, clean job if one’s digestive tract is working well. Twice is a good thing, just to check.

Oh, you don’t check to make SURE you’re clean before closing up shop, as it were? Eww. No wonder buzzards fall off shitwagons when you walk by.

2 Replies to “Proper TP Placement”

  1. But…

    In a house with small children, A works better, because it’s less likely that they’ll just hit that roll and unwind it all over the floor. You can always turn those two square around before folding.

    1. In our house with small children, we taught the kids to use the paper properly. Worked for us. 🙂 (Though… we did once have a cat that had to be trained to avoid the toilet paper. Did that too, and kept the toilet paper loaded properly. Stubborn I am. Out-stubborned the cat, at least. *heh*)

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